awkward

defines my life. I just can’t help it, just seems to radiate off of me. And when I try not to be awkward, it just makes it worse. Have you ever witnessed an awkward nerd try to not be themselves? It’s not a pretty sight.


Disclaimer: I love being awkward. Also, doesn't the word awkward even look awkward?! It never had a chance. 

I have come to the conclusion that I am forevermore doomed to be awkward. Care to know why? I like awkward boys. Michael Cera? Jesse Eisenberg? I thoroughly enjoy their interviews solely for the reason with how awkward they are. Maybe one day I’ll get lucky and get a cross between Cary Grant and Urkel.

Mystery

Whatever happened to mystery? I forgot how much girls throw themselves at guys. Maybe I do it too, but honestly I just want more guy friends (less drama). I was walking with a couple girls today when one burst out "I call dibs!" i was rather confused when the other girl made her confusion known. "The guy, obviously."

What happened to mystery? What happened to letting the guy go after the girl instead of the other way around? Are quiet girls doomed to be spinsters? I don't think so. Let real men be men. Gentlemen. I don't want a guy that is letting women take control of every situation, he should be decisive and a man truly after God's own heart.

[disclaimer: this post might seem like I am looking for Prince Charming, but I'm just venting]

Singles Map

No wonder people complain about the single life! ;-)

[Click to enlarge]

Blue dots=guys

Orange dots=girls

Sacred Singleness

I ordered this phenomenal book by Leslie Ludy from Amazon and it finally arrived in my cpo today. My goal is to get half way through it by tonight (it's only 184 pages). On every page so far I have at least one thing highlighted or underlined. It's so good. Making me see alot of things that I hadn't realized. But so far, the thing that it is stressing the most is that one can never be content with anything in life (specifically an earthly romance), unless Christ is your reason for living. And live a life completely abandoned and surrendered to Him.

Singleness is the incredible opportunity to be fully consecrated in body and spirit to Jesus Christ alone--to be undistracted by any other romance and free to be consumed by Him.

On Single-arity

So I forgot about the single life. I've only had about a year in 21 years of residence of Earth where I have not been single, so you wouldn't think it would be SO unusual right?? Um, wrong. I'm not unhappy with it at all. I have so much more time for everything (I even applied to work on campus at the library). I am able to completely focus on school, and hang out with my friends so much more. Which is really good, because my roomie will be student teaching next year and not living on campus! Sadness. I've lived with her for the past two years. It's amazing how close you can get with someone in that time. With you through all the good, bad and just sheer ugliness of life. Anyway, singleness.

I have decided to call this point in my life, 'single-arity.' After making up this term, I deemed it necessary to check trusty Wikipedia. But it was some logic/science/mathematic definition. I'm not really a fan of logic, so I decided to make up my own definition.

Singlearity: a time of no romantic encounters from someone of the opposite sex. This time period can last a whole lifetime (if a gift of yours is celibacy) or for a short time. Singlearity is something to be embraced, not taken lightly or for granted. It is to be used as a special time that can never be taken back. It is sacred

Um...I don't think Webster would like that definition, but I'm new at this (actually writing up the definition, not making up words :)

[Andrew and I at Grandpa and Grandma's ranch]

So yeah, I'm embracing my newfound life of single-arity and

letting God control my life, not me.

It's all Him.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD,

"plans to prosper you and not to harm you,

plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11