Fake Voices

In a future generation
Monophonic crowds emerge
With their metal throats
On organic flesh
Trading Originals for epigones
Real singers have become extinct

Fake voices
Fill the avenues
With Decepticon diction
Its a failed quest for perfection
Once the talent pool evaporates
Real singers have become extinct

This is a song by one of my friends, Curtis Bell. I especially love the line "It's a failed quest for perfection." Because really, isn't every quest for perfection doomed to fail? We can't be perfect. I wish more people would be broken and beautiful. Let the cracks show. God can use the worst moments of our lives for His glory. When we are weak, He is strong. Let's be honest, people. Let's be transparent--so transparent that people only see God's love through us instead of judgement and hypocrisy. Let people see your mistakes. Guess what? We've all made them.

Broken

How can God love such a broken thing? How does He have such a perfect love? I just don't understand. It's a good thing I don't have to.

Lately, I've just been trying to sit back and think on God's amazingness. "Be still and know that He is God" is a hard verse to remember, but detrimental.

Yes, We are broken. Completely and utterly. We can try to cover it up all we want, but eventually everyone sees how broken we truly are. The truth comes out. We try to put all the grains of sand back in the jar, but it doesn't work. Let it out. Leave it be. God has a plan for each grain of sand. Each piece has always been a part of the vital plan called your life. God planned this from the beginning of time. Let Him take charge. This doesn't mean you can just sit in the back seat without a care in the world. Stay up in that passenger seat, alert, keeping your eye on the horizon. And be ready to let go of that sand.

Blog Title

I changed my blog title (including the banner graphic being redesigned). I am reading through a book, called Stronger Than You Think, by Kim Gaines Eckert. It is all about being whole without having to be perfect. It is making me realize that each of us is broken, yet we are each still a complete person.

Hello world.

I am broken and whole.

And I am stronger than you think.

On Single-arity

So I forgot about the single life. I've only had about a year in 21 years of residence of Earth where I have not been single, so you wouldn't think it would be SO unusual right?? Um, wrong. I'm not unhappy with it at all. I have so much more time for everything (I even applied to work on campus at the library). I am able to completely focus on school, and hang out with my friends so much more. Which is really good, because my roomie will be student teaching next year and not living on campus! Sadness. I've lived with her for the past two years. It's amazing how close you can get with someone in that time. With you through all the good, bad and just sheer ugliness of life. Anyway, singleness.

I have decided to call this point in my life, 'single-arity.' After making up this term, I deemed it necessary to check trusty Wikipedia. But it was some logic/science/mathematic definition. I'm not really a fan of logic, so I decided to make up my own definition.

Singlearity: a time of no romantic encounters from someone of the opposite sex. This time period can last a whole lifetime (if a gift of yours is celibacy) or for a short time. Singlearity is something to be embraced, not taken lightly or for granted. It is to be used as a special time that can never be taken back. It is sacred

Um...I don't think Webster would like that definition, but I'm new at this (actually writing up the definition, not making up words :)

[Andrew and I at Grandpa and Grandma's ranch]

So yeah, I'm embracing my newfound life of single-arity and

letting God control my life, not me.

It's all Him.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD,

"plans to prosper you and not to harm you,

plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

EDIT: Hi everyone.

So, I really will try to be posting more (I know my promises on blogger don't count very much anymore).

Kinda big story here. Listen up.

I am not engaged anymore. It was not a healthy relationship. I feel that God will bring me through the scars that were left through this relationship, through family, friends and His Word. God has already proved His presence in my life. And I believe this is what He wants for me. But more importantly what He wants for His glory. My friends have been phenomenal and helping me all through this (along with my amazing aunt, who works here at the school). Never thought this would be in the plan, but I can already tell this is for the best. I had grown so apart from God. He wasn't personal to me anymore, & reading my Bible and praying was not an everyday thing. To top all this off, after this happened, I got an email from 'God' via facebook. It said that I needed to go back to David. And that he (God) was contacted through prayer on social networking sites. [So for those of you wondering why I got off facebook, this is why]

Oh, I have therapy. Every Friday. Another thing that I thought wasn't in the plan.

So while I was really committed to my relationship, at this point I was more committed to just staying together. It was my first relationship, and I wanted my first relationship to be the one with my husband--so it got out of hand. Also, I don't think I was really mature enough to have this serious of a relationship, it went way too fast.

Girls, don't let this happen to you. If you are being abused in any way, get out. If you think you can handle the abuse (whether physical or emotional) because you are strong, you are wrong. It takes more strength to leave. Trust me on this. Yes, you will cry. I can assure you of that one. But wouldn't you rather want the chance of pleasing God by marrying the man He has chosen for you? Instead of settling on someone that you could probably live with the rest of your life?

If you want more details email me, and I will disclose more information. It just isn't completely appropriate to be sharing everything via blog. goldfish.megan@gmail.com

I want God's best. By the way, I really hope this is making sense to everyone out there, I'm not trying to come across as giving up is an option. Giving up isn't an option, but knowing you aren't doing what is in God's plan and acting on it, is.

Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord.

Psalm 31:24

Fail Us Not,

1000 generations