Annie!

I love this girl. Anne Van Veelen. She's pretty fabulous. She's crazy like me and likes to stay up all night to "study." I haven't met anyone else at Judson who will actually stay up the whole night with me. We have basically made our floor's lounge our room. We both love ice cream, and eat too much at McDonald's. Bad news though....she has to go back to her homeland. It's kinda far. Mom, want to take a trip to the Netherlands sometime soon? :) Anyway, just wanted to tell all my blog readers (if I still have any after this long absence) that this girl is amazing. And if you'll pardon me, we have to finish finals up. So off to the lounge I go. Pizza, ice cream, and afore-mentioned friend=another really late night. And I love it.

Combat

I am ready. Ready for what, you might ask? Finals. That time of the year where 20-somethings all over the world become binge eaters and insomniacs.

Finals, this year, you shall become my prisoner. I am prepared for combat.

WARNING: Random

Finals are next week. The weather outside is gorgeous. I so wish that I could be outside more and enjoy it. For Mouw's class we have been shooting "48 hours at Judson," so I have my camera with me practically 24-7. I should always do that. I have more pictures than I know what to do with and my friends now consider me paparazzi, but I guess I should get used to that. :) I know how to flip someone over my back now, thanks to my self-defense class.

Next week we are doing refreshers and a bunch of scenarios. Kind of excited, but a twinge of scared-ness as well. :) In the picture I am throwing down the instructor. So, bottom line, don't mess with me ;-) So finals....my photo 2 final is on Monday and i am kind of freaking out about it because I still need to shoot people and make it into a book. AHHHH!!!!! I think I shall take a nap and re-evaluate :)

Human Wrong

Judson is selling t-shirts to bring awareness to child slavery. This is the one I got. Ashley, one of my friends, thought it was kind of ironic. Because I tend to be seen as a "Suzy Homemaker" kind of person. Which I love :) Anyway, I was really excited. And apparently on Thursday we are gathering together at lunch to pray for those in slavery.

Wow.

I just don't even know what to say. God is amazing. [End of post.] Nah, I am way too excited to just say that.

My wonderful friend, Joy Goodrich is visiting campus for the weekend. (I wish I had less homework this weekend!) Anyway, she organized a prayer meeting and invited a ton of people. There were about eight of us there in the prayer room in the basement of the chapel. We started at 9:30. It lasted until midnight. First we were praying for revival on the campus, then we prayed for Chara's ankle (which she said felt better by the time we left). Then came the best part. Joanie suggested going around the room and praying for each person. Before I keep going, I just thought I'd let you know how crazy-awesome last night was.

Almost everyone was praying in the spirit. As in, not really knowing what they were saying, and just letting the Spirit talk through them.

Now I grew up Methodist, where we stood for the hymns and sat for everything else. It is the same every week. That's fine, but our God is the God of everything! He is not something that can be put into a box. We should be shouting and proclaiming His name. It took me awhile to get used to all that was going on, and truth be told, I wasn't completely sure of everything. But since when are we supposed to be comfortable?? When we are comfortable, we just sit back and let things happen.

Back to story.

The person being prayed for would sit in the middle and the rest of us would lay hands on that person. There were people who would see things. These visions, I guess, would vary and alot of the time we would have no clue what they mean. The one I saw was a girl in white in a huge cathedral. She was walking down the aisle on a red carpet, she had a long way to walk. But a king was sitting on his throne and waiting for her. He had the biggest and most beautiful smile I had ever seen. You didn't even have to look at Him to know He was smiling, you just knew. She needed to run. And later, Joanie said that she saw the same cathedral. That the red carpet represented God's blood and her white dress her purity in Christ.

There would also be words that God would put on our hearts. Usually they didn't make sense. One was french fry. We would try to push aside, thinking that didn't make sense, so it can't be from God! Since when does God make sense to humans?

I had never even heard of falling out of the spirit (I think that's the right phrase--correct me if I am wrong), but that happened too. Joy fell out when we were praying for revival. I actually fell out too, when I was in the middle. It was just me letting go of everything and letting Him take control.

When I first God in the middle, Joanie hugged me and didn't let go for a long time. And I just started sobbing. It was God hugging me. For a long time, all I could do was cry. People were talking about how I was restored. One saw a chalkboard and that everything is wiped clean. Everything. I was also wearing a dress, completely white--my purity. Ben Shenkin talked about how he saw my smile, my real smile. He said he hadn't seen it in a long time.

Then there was Luis. He is really quiet, so when he talked, we all got really quiet. But he would say things he couldn't possibly know. During prayer, it dawned on me how absolutely amazing it would be to kiss God's face. I mean, wow. But when I sat in the middle, Luis read from Song of Songs 1:2-4

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine. Because of the savour of thy good ointments thy name is as ointment poured forth, therefore do the virgins love thee. Draw me, we will run after thee: the king hath brought me into his chambers: we will be glad and rejoice in thee, we will remember thy love more than wine: the upright love thee.

All of this in less than three hours!

Ya'll might think I am absolutely crazy now for typing this. And you would be right. I am crazy.

Crazy for God.

If we are out of our mind, it is for the sake of God;

if we are in our right mind, it is for you.

2 Corinthians 5:13

So very tired.

Last night I got approximately 1.5 hours of sleep. Night before that I accidentally slept in, but the night before that I got two hours of sleep. It's only a matter of time before I develop permanent bags under my eyes.

Thank you, art school, thank you. What a wonderful present you gave me.

Pride

I think the one thing that turns me off of people (meaning anyone, not just the opposite sex) is pride. Hearing someone go on and on about how much they know or how wonderful they think they are is so annoying. Makes me wonder though as I am typing this, do I do the same thing?? We all chime in our own little stories about our life at the dinner table. Are we trying to help the story along? Or is there some strange reason we have to share our successes with everyone? The Creator of the Universe knows all of our accomplishments. Shouldn't that be enough? Apparently not.

We are supposed to be clothed in humility. If that is so, then how much are you wearing? Although, I know at times I have been guilty of wearing next to nothing!

After Easter, it is hard not to be humbled by the Cross and God's love for us. Yet, it seems like it is quickly lost. His love for us is quickly taken for granted once Monday rolls around. We are NOTHING without Him.

From the outset of the day, I want to greet my Savior with gratitude, not grumbling. ::CJ Mahaney::

Protectors

After a girl is grown, her little brothers

-now her protectors-

seem like big brothers.

::Astrid Alauda::

[sniff, sniff] Are they really growing up?!

Love

Does God really love us?

I say look to the crucified Jesus.

Look to the old rugged cross.

By every thorn that punctured His brow.

By every mark of the back lacerating scourge.

By every hair of his beard plucked from his cheeks by cruel fingers.

By every bruise which heavy fists made upon His head.

God said, "I love you!"

By all the spit that landed on his face.

By every drop of sinless blood that fell to the ground.

By every breath of pain which Jesus drew upon the cross.

By every beat of His loving heart. God said, I love you.

::Billy Lobbs::

At the heart of the story stands the cross of Christ

where evil did it's worst and met it's match.

John W. Wenham

Guilty

I attended my church's (Harvest Bible Chapel) Good Friday service tonight. It was amazing. They had this walk through, with art and a tactile experience (instruments of torture that they would use in Jesus' time) Anyway, the last part of it was when two guys in black robes stamped your hand in ink, as they said "Guilty!" The next part was taking a red sharpie and writing your name on a huge cross and then taking communion, sitting down and meditating on what Jesus has done.

The part that struck me most about the service, was that I am guilty. Guilty of putting my sins on the one holy man in the universe. The only one who didn't deserve one speck of punishment. I put him on that cross. My own sin and failures kept him up there.

i.

am.

guilty.

Joy

Be merry, really merry. The life of a true Christian should be a perpetual jubilee, a prelude to the festivals of eternity.
~Theophane Venard

Joy is not the absence of suffering. It is the presence of God.
~Robert Schuller

When you have become penetrated with the joy of God, all of your sorrows will turn into joy, all of your trials will be graces; you will recognize your faults, you will be sorry for them, and they will be forgiven so that they may become happy faults. They will remind you only of the goodness, the tenderness, the joy with which God forgives them.

~Louis Evely

Happiness depends on happenings; joy depends on Christ.

~Anonymous

I'm a fan

of these people. Even though the one on the left is a stinker, and closed his eyes. [smile]

"Studying" with Anne

Meet my friend, Anne, from the Netherlands. She's a riot.

Vintage Shopping

So I went to Goodwill and an amazing vintage store today for gathering props for my next photography project. Difficult, I know! =) This amazing vintage store is in the basement of a sporting goods store. I think that makes it even better--it's a hidden treasure!

The REAL book about Camping.

Tins I got at Goodwill. Two dollars each. Have I mentioned I love thrifting? I almost just got the sugar and flour ones, but I promptly returned for tea and coffee. How could I pass up such an amazing find?

One of the four plates I got at Goodwill. 99 cents each. Bam.

Cloves tin, glass milk bottle, and a Beta Lactose tin on the Camping book.

I also got white gloves and a red gingham apron at the vintage store. I tried on some dresses when I was there, but none fit. (No sizes printed didn't help) There were so many hats there. It was fabulous. There was a whole cabinet of gloves and aprons. I definitely want/need to go back to look at more of the books, life magazines, cookbooks, and everything else.

Hebrews 12

Verses 1-3:

"...let us throw off everything that hinders

and the sin that so easily entangles,

and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith,

who for the joy set before him endured the cross,

scorning its shame and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men,

that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

It is so easy to get fixed upon all the distractions that our world, and even our technology, offers. But if it is taking us away from focusing on God, we need to seriously reconsider our use of it, or putting a cap on it. Jesus suffered so much, and so many of us (myself included) don't even give so much as a second thought some days. He was not deserving of such as death, or any death at all. But he died on the cross, so none of us would have to--so that we can have hope on dreary days when nothing seems to go right.

And then it goes on to talk about how only a loving and true father disciplines his son,

that if he doesn't discipline, the child isn't really his. The end of verse 10b says,

"God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness."

Verse 11-13,

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.

Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness

and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees.

Make level paths for your feet, so that the lame may not be disabled,

but rather healed."

As much as I hated being disciplined as a kid, I am so glad my parents did. Who likes a spoiled brat for a friend? I remember that look that mom and dad would get. Just that look from one of them, and my heart sank. I knew I was in trouble and there was no way out. My excuses wouldn't get anything but more trouble. Disappointment. I hated seeing that in their face. It wasn't a condemnation, just disappointment--at least for the moment. How much more grief should I have when I disappoint the God of the Universe who rescued me from the deep miry pit of my own sins?! He brings me up out of that pit and sets me on sturdy ground. It is time to stand up, tall and proud for what He has done for me. I might need discipline, but it is what I deserve. I will hate it when I get that discipline, but it is good in the long run. Thank you God, for the pain that transforms to peace.

Verses 14-16:

"Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy;

without holiness no one will see the Lord.

See to it that no one misses the grace of God

and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

See that no one is sexually immoral, or is godless like Esau,

who for a singe meal sold his inheritance rights as the oldest son."

Verses 28-29:

"Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken,

let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably

with reverence and awe, for our 'God is a consuming fire.'"

I am loving the book of Hebrews! It always amazes me at how things seem to pop off the page and seem like they were meant JUST for me. Even if I had read them before. God is so amazing. I am so privileged to get the opportunity to serve and praise Him.

Hebrews 10:17, 22-24

Then he adds: "Their sins and lawless acts shall be remembered no more." 

And where these have been forgiven, there is no longer any sacrifice for sin...

Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, 

having our hearts sprinkled 

to cleanse us 

from a guilty conscience

and having our bodies washed 

with pure water. 

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, 

for he who promised is faithful. 

And let us consider how we may spur one another

 toward love and good deeds.

What a beautiful visual!! Our hearts, full of all of our sins and errors and sprinkled clean and our very bodies are washed pure with water. We are pure through Christ. Isn't that such a beautiful thing?!

All of our sins are washed away in that beautiful water that Christ pours onto us.

Broken Chains

Chains be broken
Lives be healed
Eyes be opened
Christ is revealed

I have decided
I have resolved
To wait upon You Lord
My rock and Redeemer
Shield and reward
I'll wait upon You Lord

As surely as the sun will rise
You'll come to us
Certain as the dawn appears

You'll come
Let Your glory fall as You respond to us
Spirit rain
Flood into our thirsty hearts again
You'll come
You'll come

We are not shaken
We are not moved
We wait upon You Lord
Mighty deliverer
Triumph and truth
We wait upon You Lord

As surely as the sun will rise
You'll come to us
Certain as Your word endures

You'll come
Let Your glory fall as You respond to us
Spirit rain
Flood into our thirsty hearts again
You'll come
You'll come

Chains be broken
Lives be healed
Eyes be opened
Christ is revealed

Heard this song at Upper Room tonight. Beautiful words.

Amanda

Trisha

Happy birthday Trisha! Gosh, you are old. 23. Well I'm in North Dakota, waiting for you to get here. But for some reason you are staying in sunny Oregon. Silly. I guess we will just have to celebrate in style this summer. (yes, the queens of thrift shopping must conquer the stores!)

I love and miss you, Trisha! I hope your birthday is a most splendid one! (Eat some cake and do some shopping for me :)

I am sure that this picture is at least four years old, but it is all that I have.

Time for a photo shoot!

http://www.hallmark.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ecard|10001|10051|123725|147551;-102001;11443;-102034;183075|ecard|P1R8S|ecards?cardType=premium&isComboCall=false&template=n&categoryId=183075

Spring Break

Picture it. Spring Break, 2010. Going from 40 degree weather in Illinois to...lower 30s in North Dakota. It's the best ever. Today I made two batches of carmel rolls and did lots of cleaning.

My family has many socks! :-)

Title

A video I made last week....mom will probably be the only one who will enjoy it, unless you enjoy Rascal Flatts. :-)

Thoughts on Slavery

Here are some of the final images from my portrait project. I came across many different people—differing political backgrounds, opinions, accents, and living situations. I took the majority of the images by the Hershey store in Chicago and told people that the Hershey’s company uses slave labor for much of their products.

I just asked their opinion about it and if I could take their picture. Some did not let me take their picture, one didn’t speak English and the first person I asked about it just didn’t know what to say and laughed it off.

As for these people's opinions....

• The man on the top left--"Well, I'm against that."
• The man on the bottom left (pardon his 'French')--"That's bulls--t"
• The couple--"Well, I obviously don't approve of anything with slave trade."
• The man on top right--"I wasn't aware that Hershey's did that...capitalist."
• Charles--"I'm a Democrat. I do not shop at Wal-Mart because they are products from slave labor entities. I do not eat chocolate."

During crit yesterday, one of my professors commented on how I could have taken the picture first and then asked their thoughts. I want to continue going into Chicago and asking people, and I'm going to try to remember to take their picture first. And I have to remember to be more assertive of moving the subject so they are in a better composition and lighting situation. Truthfully, I was so nervous and out of my comfort zone on Saturday, that it was hard to remember.

Did I mention I got lost for about an hour?

Charles

This picture is part of my project for my Portrait Project due on Monday. [I'll post pictures soon, either here or at my photo blog]

I didn't ask this guy his name, but I'll call him Charles. Well I asked Charles if he knew that Hershey's employs slave labor. He said he didn't and that he didn't actually eat chocolate. His father was a WW2 veteran and much of what they ate was stale crackers and bitter chocolate, so growing up they weren't allowed to eat chocolate.

I do not shop at Wal-Mart because they are products from slave-labor entities. I do not eat chocolate.

Charles said he was shopping [I was just outside the Hershey's store downtown] for his wife. He then mentioned how he was a Democrat and would obviously not support slave labor (or something like that). He was quite surprised to find out that I am a Republican and asked if I was 'anti-business.' "Well, not anti-business, I guess, as much as anti-slavery," I replied. It was an interesting experience. I think I need to go to Chicago more often.

...what day is it?

So I woke up at 9:04 today and I panicked. I flew out of bed in a rush to put on clothes for the day, madly whisking on shoes and about to dash out the door with my backpack. And then my roomie asks what I'm doing.

"I'M LATE FOR CLASS!!!" I so eloquently replied.

"Megan," Brittany began, "it's Tuesday."

Then I remembered. My first class was at 1:30 in the afternoon.

Hide and seek

His will is our hiding place.

-Corrie ten Boom

The only thing we should hide in is God and His presence. We can try to hide all we want in things in the world, but God knows right where we are. All the time.

Change

I have so much that I need to work on in my life. Just when I think I know what I am doing, I realize (with the help of friends) that I have been doing things wrong. I haven't been a good example of what a Christian should be.

I should be unselfish, mature, and putting others before me.

But what am I doing? I think about myself constantly, think about only me and only help myself. I need to change. NOW.

Broken

How can God love such a broken thing? How does He have such a perfect love? I just don't understand. It's a good thing I don't have to.

Lately, I've just been trying to sit back and think on God's amazingness. "Be still and know that He is God" is a hard verse to remember, but detrimental.

Yes, We are broken. Completely and utterly. We can try to cover it up all we want, but eventually everyone sees how broken we truly are. The truth comes out. We try to put all the grains of sand back in the jar, but it doesn't work. Let it out. Leave it be. God has a plan for each grain of sand. Each piece has always been a part of the vital plan called your life. God planned this from the beginning of time. Let Him take charge. This doesn't mean you can just sit in the back seat without a care in the world. Stay up in that passenger seat, alert, keeping your eye on the horizon. And be ready to let go of that sand.

bahahahahah

This is amazing! How A.C.E.

You know you went to an ACE school when.....

1. You don't know how to plot a geometrical equation, but by golly you know what gerunds, infinitives, and participles are and can differentiate between them on sight.

2. You ever diagrammed sentences with David Brainerd as the subject.

3. You watched missionary movies for a treat.

4. You still got star stickers to put on your chart even in high school.

5. You've looked back on a Check-up.

6. You ever got paddled in your church's sanctuary.

7. The highlight of your year was Convention, especially Internationals.

8. You couldn't stand Ace or Christi because they were too perfect, couldn't believe Pudge and Becky ended up getting married, and secretly admired Ronnie and Susie because you thought they were cool.

9. Two words: Wisdom Pages.

10. You knew more than your supervisors and monitors by the time you were in sixth grade.

11. You got hand cramps from writing the same word a gazillion times throughout the PACE in Word Building/Etymology.

12. You know what "'Baa Baa' said Ba Ba" means.

13. The American flag means to you, not "I'm proud of my country" or "I support the troops," but "I need to score."

14. To this day you look over your shoulder every time you use a green pen, a.k.a the supervisor's magic wand.

15. You know what A, C, and E privileges are.

16. You watched a video of frog dissection rather than doing it yourself. Heck yes!

17. Could never get a 100% on a test because you forgot to memorize the verse for the Pace.

18. You know what I mean when I say "six inch rule."

19. You make goal charts instead of shopping lists, and it gives you a high to cross each item off diagonally, bottom left to top right.

20. You've worked in an office since you were in kindergarten.

21. Stolen a score key and felt like you owned the golden ticket.

22. Carried a pencil tip to the scoring station

23. Placed red dots beside the correct multiple choice answers while standing at the scoring station

Does anyone else understand?? Oh I loved that I came across this. Pure gold.

=)

I'm going to be a bridesmaid!! First time ever. Pretty stoked about it! Yeah, Ben proposed to Britt about half an hour ago. I'm so excited. I get to buy a pretty long dress from David's Bridal (it's "free" since I have some in-store credit left over from the veil and jewelry). They just came back. Oh my gosh, what a cute story! He gave her this enormous bouquet of flowers!!! GORGEOUS. And had a picnic. They also went to a park and had fun there. Later they went out to eat, to the first restaurant they had eaten at together (before they were dating). He had made a movie of sorts of her favorite love songs and their pictures, of which at the end it said I love you Brittany Raye,...just one question, "Will you be mine?" After which, he got down on one knee and proposed. I'm so excited!

How cute are they?!

(My first ever chance to do engagement pictures is forthcoming.....)

Fashion Blog

I was just perusing the internet, when suddenly I decided I should start a fashion blog. Why? Because it's awesome (and I don't really know anything about it). Apparently, lack of knowledge + blog= more knowledge after five years?? I don't know. Anyway...another new blog at http://myattemptsatfashion.blogspot.com

Blog Title

I changed my blog title (including the banner graphic being redesigned). I am reading through a book, called Stronger Than You Think, by Kim Gaines Eckert. It is all about being whole without having to be perfect. It is making me realize that each of us is broken, yet we are each still a complete person.

Hello world.

I am broken and whole.

And I am stronger than you think.

Fairtrade Chocolate!!!

I didn't know that my school was selling fair-trade chocolate as a fundraiser for a missions trip. How awesome is that?!! It tastes so much better than any chocolate I've ever had. It's by Sweet Earth Chocolates and it is delicious! YUmmmmmm. I was going to save it for by next portrait assignment, but it probably won't make it. However, it is very rich, so it might hold out ;-)

I was pretty excited.....

Opening the chocolate....

Smelling the chocolate.....

Time to savor that chocolate!

Earthquakes

So I was just going to bed when the earthquake hit last night. I had literally just laid down for 2 seconds, when a 3.8 earthquake decides to make its presence known in Chicago. I wish they had names like hurricanes did. I'll call her Frieda. Well, like I said I was going to bed when Frieda came at four this morning. I felt two major shakes and looked around, but everything was fine. She was only here for maybe ten seconds, and after she left I thought maybe I hallucinated from staying up late. And then I realized Frieda was an earthquake. Well, I just can't imagine how absolutely terrifying the earthquake in Haiti was. That was a 7 point on the richter scale? About twice as much as last night here in northern Illinois. I was scared and confused for ten seconds. How much more confusing and terrifying was it in Haiti?

Slavery still exists

I just don't even know where to start. I mean, I knew there are still slaves in the world. I guess I just pushed it to the back of my mind. How could I do such a thing?! God's children are being whipped and punished, just so I can buy cheap things. They work for free so I can have a bar of Hershey's chocolate. (I am starting a Death by Chocolate Portrait project--stay tuned.) It isn't okay to just sit back while millions are people are enslaved around the world. There are more slaves now than there ever has been. There are child soldiers, people forced into prostitution and countless other kinds of traffiking. It is time to stand up and fight against this! As Christians, we should not be able to stand for this. It is time to fight back. You can do many things by even just staying at home. you don't have to travel the world to make a difference.

notforsalecampaign.org

We can make a difference!

Blogger in Draft

So I decided to use blogger in draft again. Just to see what was in the works. Amazing! You can add pages, so it is more like a website than just a blog. For this blog I just added contact info and about me tabs. But at my photoBlog I added quotes and links as well. Such fun! SO check it out if you want! And I urge all you bloggers out there to try Blogger in Draft as well!

You've Got Mail

I finally saw all of You've Got Mail. Such a great movie. It sounds cliche, but they don't make good movies like that anymore. No cursing, no inappropriate scenes or innuendos. Their relationship started out as a friendship....well actually more of a hate relationship that eventually turned into a friendship :) Anyway....I want to be more like Meg Ryan's character. She is so fun and quirky. Besides that, when she said mean things she always genuinely apologized right after. She apologized to the man who ran her small corner bookstore out of business.

I should be better than that. I shouldn't say hurtful things.

Besides it having a great soundtrack, awesome plot and pretty good morals (Tom Hanks' father is quite the philanderer), it is centered on books!! What could make it any better? Nothing. But then, I guess I am partly biased. Books are amazing.

When you read a book as a child, it becomes a part of your identity in a way that no other reading in your whole life does.

Sacred Singleness

I ordered this phenomenal book by Leslie Ludy from Amazon and it finally arrived in my cpo today. My goal is to get half way through it by tonight (it's only 184 pages). On every page so far I have at least one thing highlighted or underlined. It's so good. Making me see alot of things that I hadn't realized. But so far, the thing that it is stressing the most is that one can never be content with anything in life (specifically an earthly romance), unless Christ is your reason for living. And live a life completely abandoned and surrendered to Him.

Singleness is the incredible opportunity to be fully consecrated in body and spirit to Jesus Christ alone--to be undistracted by any other romance and free to be consumed by Him.

Wake up...and LIVE

Came across this awesome quote today from Bob Marley. I don't think I really know anything about him except that he was a musician. Anyway...

Life is one big road with lots of signs. So when you're riding through the ruts, don't complicate your mind. Flee from hate, mischief and jealousy. Don't bury your thoughts, put your vision to reality. Wake Up and Live!

Penetrated with joy

When you have become penetrated with the joy of God, all of your sorrows will turn into joy, all of your trials will be graces; you will recognize your faults, you will be sorry for them, and they will be forgiven so that they may become happy faults. They will remind you only of the goodness, the tenderness, the joy with which God forgives them.

::Louis Evely::

It doesn't matter what is going on in our lives, we should always have joy. This does not mean to just push aside feelings and bottle them up, but we are to still have joy. Joy doesn't depend on our situation--it is continual, it is perpetual. Paul wrote the book of Philippians while in prison, but yet that book is filled with only encouragement. He isn't burdening others, he is lifting others up...with his joy.

Life Lessons from a stuffed creature

This little guy is my favorite...thing-that-makes-me-smile right now. His name is Domo. As evidence by his nametag. I gave him to my roomie. Isn't he just precious? I think his surrounding is perfect with his facial expression. Completely surrounded by homework and countless other things. Surrounded by chaos. Life is chaos. But we still need to have a smile amidst it all. I think Domo is still working on that whole smile thing. But he gives me a smile every time I see him.

So, thank you, Domo. Thank you for being who you are.

Thank you for reminding me to smile.

I prefer blessed

I think people that have a brother or sister

don't realize how lucky they are.

Sure, they fight a lot, but to know

that there's always somebody there,

somebody that's family.

-- Trey Parker

New headers

I was having fun and decided to attempt my first try at web design. (Okay, its like the smallest part of web, but the point is that I did something :) Anyway. I designed the header on this page and on my photo page too. --> merbele-pics.blogspot.com <--

So check it out. Leave some constructive criticism. And by the way, speaking of my PhotoBlog. I will be making a much more conscious effort of posting there. It's time to get off my duff and get my creative juices flowing again!!

On Single-arity

So I forgot about the single life. I've only had about a year in 21 years of residence of Earth where I have not been single, so you wouldn't think it would be SO unusual right?? Um, wrong. I'm not unhappy with it at all. I have so much more time for everything (I even applied to work on campus at the library). I am able to completely focus on school, and hang out with my friends so much more. Which is really good, because my roomie will be student teaching next year and not living on campus! Sadness. I've lived with her for the past two years. It's amazing how close you can get with someone in that time. With you through all the good, bad and just sheer ugliness of life. Anyway, singleness.

I have decided to call this point in my life, 'single-arity.' After making up this term, I deemed it necessary to check trusty Wikipedia. But it was some logic/science/mathematic definition. I'm not really a fan of logic, so I decided to make up my own definition.

Singlearity: a time of no romantic encounters from someone of the opposite sex. This time period can last a whole lifetime (if a gift of yours is celibacy) or for a short time. Singlearity is something to be embraced, not taken lightly or for granted. It is to be used as a special time that can never be taken back. It is sacred

Um...I don't think Webster would like that definition, but I'm new at this (actually writing up the definition, not making up words :)

[Andrew and I at Grandpa and Grandma's ranch]

So yeah, I'm embracing my newfound life of single-arity and

letting God control my life, not me.

It's all Him.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD,

"plans to prosper you and not to harm you,

plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

EDIT: Hi everyone.

So, I really will try to be posting more (I know my promises on blogger don't count very much anymore).

Kinda big story here. Listen up.

I am not engaged anymore. It was not a healthy relationship. I feel that God will bring me through the scars that were left through this relationship, through family, friends and His Word. God has already proved His presence in my life. And I believe this is what He wants for me. But more importantly what He wants for His glory. My friends have been phenomenal and helping me all through this (along with my amazing aunt, who works here at the school). Never thought this would be in the plan, but I can already tell this is for the best. I had grown so apart from God. He wasn't personal to me anymore, & reading my Bible and praying was not an everyday thing. To top all this off, after this happened, I got an email from 'God' via facebook. It said that I needed to go back to David. And that he (God) was contacted through prayer on social networking sites. [So for those of you wondering why I got off facebook, this is why]

Oh, I have therapy. Every Friday. Another thing that I thought wasn't in the plan.

So while I was really committed to my relationship, at this point I was more committed to just staying together. It was my first relationship, and I wanted my first relationship to be the one with my husband--so it got out of hand. Also, I don't think I was really mature enough to have this serious of a relationship, it went way too fast.

Girls, don't let this happen to you. If you are being abused in any way, get out. If you think you can handle the abuse (whether physical or emotional) because you are strong, you are wrong. It takes more strength to leave. Trust me on this. Yes, you will cry. I can assure you of that one. But wouldn't you rather want the chance of pleasing God by marrying the man He has chosen for you? Instead of settling on someone that you could probably live with the rest of your life?

If you want more details email me, and I will disclose more information. It just isn't completely appropriate to be sharing everything via blog. goldfish.megan@gmail.com

I want God's best. By the way, I really hope this is making sense to everyone out there, I'm not trying to come across as giving up is an option. Giving up isn't an option, but knowing you aren't doing what is in God's plan and acting on it, is.

Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord.

Psalm 31:24

Fail Us Not,

1000 generations

Attn Bloglinites

If you use the fabulous website known as Bloglines, then you should hop on over to see my 'new' blog :) And for those of you who don't use Bloglines, go there NOW. Sign up. It will save you sooo much time.

bloglines.com

Bam!

no excuse now

Dear Self

For a long time, I have struggled with not liking my body-slash-appearance. I know that each one of us has a unique body, created by the Maker of the Universe. You think that would change my outlook, right? Well, I decided to write a letter to myself today about aforementioned discrepancies.

Dear Feet,

Thank you for taking me everywhere that I need to go. Thank you for forgiving me even though I don't lotion you enough and I always wear those blasted no nonsense socks, which results in your own suffocation. Thank you for not having a bunion from wearing high heels. (I'm sure you much rather prefer my usual flats now)

Dear Legs,

You take me where I need to go, as well, and I thank you for that. I'm sorry for itching you after a long day and sometimes leaving scars, especially by my ankles. Please pass along the word. Maybe let Feet know that I apologized as well. You and Feet seem to have a connection.

Dear Stomach,

I'm sorry for complaining about you so much. You are probably what I complain about the most. And really, God made you. You aren't the one responsible for the "pooch" after holiday meals, I am. I am trying to eat healthier around you. Thank you for letting me eat everything I eat. Other Stomachs reject certain foods, but not you--you take it all.

Dear Arms,

I am sorry for not lotion-ing you. I will try to be better about that. Thank you for taking all the abuse that you have gotten. You have gotten burned countless times, and as a result, white 'freckles' now rest on your shoulders. Thank you for being a nice to size--not too wimpy (I don't give you enough credit), but not too big either--I am able to lift most things that I need.

Dear Hands,

I try to keep you well trimmed (cuticles), but I end up just biting my nails. I am profusely sorry for that. It's a hard habit to break, but I will try. Thank you, Hands, for always being there. Thank you for no arthritis after typing innumerable papers. Hands, if you didn't exist, I wouldn't be able to take pictures, my lifelong dream. I will try to protect you this winter by buying better gloves and actually wearing them outside. You are very important to me, Hands.

Dear Hair,

We've been through a lot together. (4-letter word known as lice) I have tried to change you in so many ways. I have changed your appearance in color and in the way you look at first glance. I try to straighten you by applying hundreds of degrees of heat. I complain about your wave. I should just let you do what you want (to a point). I'm sorry, too, for putting you back a lot, as well. A sloppy ponytail is no way to show you off. And when I just let God does what He wants with you, it is pleasantly surprising.

Dear Face,

Thank you for being you. Thank you for being mostly acne-free even though I don't take care of you. I don't wash you regularly, but put make-up on instead. Thank you for being beautiful without make-up. Thank you for your pale complexion, it really is a nice shade as much as I complain about it. And thank you for the natural blush.

Dear Eyes,

Thank you for being a lovely shade of blue that changes color. I do wish I wouldn't hide you behind glasses. Perhaps I shall try contacts again. Thank you for still working even though I strain you a lot, because I "forgot" to turn the lights on, or just because I didn't want to stop reading in fading daylight while traveling.

Dear Ears,

Thank you for being so incredibly unique. One lobe unconnected and one connected. It is the one thing that I have always felt makes me unique. I am sorry for blasting music in you. I'm sure I have killed you a little bit while listening to my iPod.

Dear Nose,

Thank you for being there. I am rather fond of you on my face. The only time I really complain about you is during cold season, and it isn't even your fault that I have a runny nose. Thank you for the lovely freckles, reminders of my wonderful childhood.

Dear Body,

You are a temple. And its time I start treating you like such. You deserve more rest time. Instead of staying up so late, you should get beauty rest. Help me to remember to take care of you.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand. When I awake, I am still with you.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;

test me and know my anxious thoughts.

::Psalm 139:13-18, 23::