Tuesday, July 31, 2012

What to expect when you're not expecting to expect

I'm an awkward, single twenty-something. This is the time in my life where nearly all of my friends are engaged, married, or having kids.

This is not a post by yet another crazy girl that "just wants to be married." I'll be the first to say that I'm not ready to be married, much less have kids. I'm not even sure I want to have kids. I came across this quote while reading Steinbeck's Out of Eden today:
When a child first catches adults out ― when it first walks into his grave little head that adults do not always have divine intelligence, that their judgments are not always wise, their thinking true, their sentences just ― his world falls into panic desolation. The gods are fallen and all safety gone. And there is one sure thing about the fall of gods: they do not fall a little; they crash and shatter or sink deeply into green muck. It is a tedious job to build them up again; they never quite shine. And the child's world is never quite whole again. It is an aching kind of growing.
That's a huge responsibility, when I have enough trouble keeping an aloe vera plant alive.

So what should you expect when you are not expecting to expect?

You'll experience self-doubt. That's okay. If you aren't doubting yourself a little, that means you're not testing the waters. "A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor."

Solitude. I love spending time alone, so this is actually a plus for me. I am really good at being single and liking it. (Why yes, I am about as introverted as they come.) In my opinion, people need to learn how to enjoy being by themselves. Take a trip by yourself! Explore new places, read a book in one sitting, learn a new skill.

Find out who you are, continually. Trust me, you'll change over the years. Read things that challenge your beliefs. Step out of your comfort zone.