Boston.

Tragedy. Its one of those things that is impossible to put into words, yet everyone feels the need to do it.

By now you've heard of the tragedy surrounding the Boston Marathon. As of this writing and to my knowledge, there are two dead, 57 injured, and 8 critical. Some of my good friends are passionate about running. It could have been any one of them. When I heard the news I just couldn't be on the computer anymore. I had to leave the room.

This was the first time a tragedy in the states really hit me. I'm not going to say that the recent shootings or 9/11 haven't had an effect on me, but I tried not to let them touch me. This one did for some reason. I don't even have any family or close friends living on the east coast. I think it was the photographs. The image that really broke me was one I saw on Twitter, where several runners were just laying in blood. That's when it became real.

In my mind, bombs don't exist in my world. The Middle East, sure. But in my perfect, untouched,  middle class world, it is full of student loans and groceries. Nothing out of the ordinary, and certainly nothing life shattering. I know this sounds ridiculous since it obviously isn't true, but sometimes brains don't make sense.

Yet, even in the midst of this turmoil, people weren't just losing it, they were rushing to help others.

       "What I'm most struck by: video of the explosion shows police, military, bystanders
         running TOWARDS blast area to help. People. Are. GOOD." @DrGMLaTulippe

Pray for Boston. Pray for helaing. Pray for understanding in this chaos. Pray for peace and hope.

Broken and joyful.

Okay, this is ridiculous. It has been more than three months since I last posted. Not much has happened since then... Oh wait, I went to Mexico.

Why Mexico? Because I like to scare my mother - it's a wonderful past-time.

Michelle, one of my good friends, asked me if I would be interested in going down to Mexico for a mission trip. I, always up for wanderlust, jumped at the chance to go to the orphanage. I had no idea how much I would learn from it.

A team of eleven of us left at the end of January for the 1700+ mile journey. Before we even got to Mexico, I knew that I would be coming back next year. We shared our testimonies on the way there (plenty of time in the spanse of three days!) - it was so wonderful to hear the backgrounds from close friends and from new ones too. We are not what we want the world to see, we are so much more broken than that. Really brought us all together. We also went through Forgotten God by Francis Chan (about the Holy Spirit, I highly recommend it!) as our devotions. It can be easy, even if you go to church and Bible study on a regular basis, to just sit back and go through the motions. It was  wonderful to be challenged. One night I remember feeling so unworthy to read the Bible, not because I clutching to my own sin, but just realizing how often I ignore the Bible as it sits on my nightstand waiting patiently to be read.

The kids amazed me. They had so much joy amidst such heartbreak. Once you hear their stories, you question if you are thinking of the right kid. How could THAT have happened to him?! Molestation, exposure to sex at such a young age, false accusations. What do you do with all of this despair? How can it be turned into hope? We are so much more broken than we let on.

It was phenomenal going to church in a different country. We went twice, Sunday and Wednesday night. Even though we couldn't understand 94% of what was being said, we all really loved it. There is comfort in knowing that you are worshipping the same God.

Though we have brokenness, joy can break though.

I learned that images can really bring people together. I've known this for a long time (and especially true with kids), but it was lovely to be surrounded with the kids looking at images of themselves and their friends. I was really debating having such a large memory card though, my fingers got tired of pushing buttons! :) Images transcend where language and cultural barriers begin.

Some of our accomplishments:

• Fixed broken tiles in the girls' dorm
• Fixed braces on the girls' beds
• Changed out lights
• Kitchen cabinets
• Painted kitchen ceiling
• Started walls for laundry room
• Got rid of black mold in the house parents' bathrooms
• Gaga Pit
• Benches for additional seating
• Locks
• Fixed knobs on drawers
• Changed faucets
• Started new relationships with the kids! 

Make sure to check out the video I put together. (If you are using a blog reader, the embedded video isn't showing up for some reason.) A lot of the images are the same, but you can get a better feel of what we did if you watch it. I also put up a shorter version.

I also started an account with YouCaring - it's a great website for fundraising. If you feel the urge, I'd appreciate it. You can click the link or get to it by the widget on the top right. If you click on updates, the needs list for this coming year is right there.

I still don't understand how these kids can turn such despair into fierce joy, but I'm anxious to go back and find out.

joy | alegría

One Word

One word. 365 days. A changed life. 

That's the challenge over at One Word 365. I had never heard of them until reading Sundi Jo this morning. I think it is a much better idea than resolutions which are quickly forgotten in a month. Choose one word that sums up who you want to be or how you want to live. One word that you can focus on every day, all year long.

I'm choosing genuine.

          [jen-yoo-in] means not fake or counterfeit; 
          sincerely felt or expressed.

Over the years, I've had some friendships, though fun, that were quite shallow. Now I am blessed with some truly beautiful friends and would very much like to keep it that way. Some I've meet only once, though I consider a kindred spirit (I'm looking at you, Nan). And for some others, I was not expecting to become such close friends, whether that was my own judgment on their personal appearance or I deemed them too cool. High school, much? I want to be authentic and real with my friends. This doesn't mean I am going to be open about my whole life with everyone, (Come on, that's what social media is for) but I am aiming for a genuine life.'

Happy New Years everyone! I'd love to know if you take up the challenge. What is your word?

"May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks you're wonderful. And don't forget to make some art. Or write, draw, build, sing, or live as only you can. And I hope in the new year you surprise yourself." 

::Neil Gaiman::

What to expect when you're not expecting to expect

I'm an awkward, single twenty-something. This is the time in my life where nearly all of my friends are engaged, married, or having kids.

This is not a post by yet another crazy girl that "just wants to be married." I'll be the first to say that I'm not ready to be married, much less have kids. I'm not even sure I want to have kids. I came across this quote while reading Steinbeck's Out of Eden today:

When a child first catches adults out ― when it first walks into his grave little head that adults do not always have divine intelligence, that their judgments are not always wise, their thinking true, their sentences just ― his world falls into panic desolation. The gods are fallen and all safety gone. And there is one sure thing about the fall of gods: they do not fall a little; they crash and shatter or sink deeply into green muck. It is a tedious job to build them up again; they never quite shine. And the child's world is never quite whole again. It is an aching kind of growing.

That's a huge responsibility, when I have enough trouble keeping an aloe vera plant alive.

So what should you expect when you are not expecting to expect?

You'll experience self-doubt. That's okay. If you aren't doubting yourself a little, that means you're not testing the waters. "A smooth sea never made a skilled sailor."

Solitude. I love spending time alone, so this is actually a plus for me. I am really good at being single and liking it. (Why yes, I am about as introverted as they come.) In my opinion, people need to learn how to enjoy being by themselves. Take a trip by yourself! Explore new places, read a book in one sitting, learn a new skill.

Find out who you are, continually. Trust me, you'll change over the years. Read things that challenge your beliefs. Step out of your comfort zone.

Memories

Memories have a way of suddenly overwhelming you. One minute you are drying a spatula, the next, you're trampled by all of these events that you were hoping you had repressed. Nope, no chance of that happening. I want to blame it on something. But even as I write this I can't think of one single thing to blame it on, other than dishes being boring. I'm not going to delve into the details, because, well frankly, that's not my style. I like to keep my life semi-private. Despite my incessant and narcissistic postings on social media. I shall forever be an introvert. (For a great article on myths of introverts click here.)

I think God wants me to really deal with all of my emotions. I tend to try to just set it aside. Bottle it up. I thought I was done with that. Eesh. I had several months of therapy after I broke off my engagement and while that did help, I still have my issues. Like guilt. My good friend Joy asked me on the train back in September how I am dealing with it. I kind of shrugged off the question. 

I'm working on giving things up to God. (It seems like I say this every three months.) It's a work in progress. He needs to work in me. And for that to happen, I need to spend a lot more time with Him than I usually do.

This might not make sense to anyone. If so, I apologize - hopefully I can pull together my thoughts for a real post.

Hurting and jealous

It hurts to know that I will never see you again here on Earth.
It hurts to know I wasn't there to say goodbye.
It just hurts.

I'll miss you Linda.
I will miss your fellow love of chocolate.
I will miss your kindness and love.

I'll miss your laughter.

I'll miss your stories.

I'll miss camping with you.

I thought you could pull through.
I've seen miracles before.
I don't understand why God didn't heal your cancer.

I just know that you aren't hurting anymore.
I can hardly wait to see you.
In the meantime, I'll just be jealous of all the time God gets to spend with you.

silence

During prayer today I realized how many horrible things are happening in the lives of my friends. I see so many people every day, but I rarely know what burdens they are carrying with them.

The death of a grandpa.
A grandma going into kidney failure.
Coming back from a missions trip and not quite sure how to deal with this new information.

What's going on with this world? Has it become more insane lately, or have I just opened up my eyes? Cancer, genocide, modern-day slavery, child soldiers, earthquakes and tsunamis. I was so overwhelmed  tonight that after chapel drama, I decided to go to the prayer room. And I couldn't even pray I had no words. So I sat there in silence. I can't help these people. How can I? I'm only a girl with a smile, and sometimes a half-hearted one at that. What can I do?

What I Learned In School

Well, today at least.

Creativity is required to have self-confidence in your work. Without it, you probably just won't make anything. And if you do, it won't be something you are incredibly proud of. However, once you have creativity you will actually WANT to do work. When you have that grand idea, all you want to do is just that and not be bothered by other little things...like eating or sleeping. Hey, if the idea is great enough, I might even skip a meal [food is a great passion of mind]. But once that creativity is flowing and you create work you are proud of, you want to make more. And of course your confidence is boosted.

Creativity à Self-confidence.

Took me 4 1/2 years of college but I finally found the key.

Pride

I have been so incredibly prideful.

I haven't read the Bible consistently in, well I'm going to be blatantly honest....I haven't read it on a consistent basis for about a year. Horrible, right? How could I put God on a shelf? What right do I have to do that? NONE. Yet, all this time I have considered myself a pretty humble person. I read a book on humility once. That should be enough, right? Oy, the longer I live the more I realize I have to learn and re-learn.

Will I ever figure out life?

Handle with care.

Life seems to be such a common aspect of everyday...well, life. When it is threatened, I am always surprised by it. Tonight there was a car accident at Judson, and two of the guys are in the hospital. The Judson community came to the chapel to pray for everyone involved in the accident. I was surprised at how many were there. Despite a lot of students being gone for the Harry Potter midnight premiere and it being so late, the chapel was filled with students. I was amazed at the response. I really shouldn't be though. Judson is an amazing community.

taken with a friend's phone at chapel.

After prayer from the President, we prayed in groups. Now, I rarely cry. I have gotten better at it, but just don't cry. I don't even know these boys who were in the accident, but tears were streaming down my face while we prayed and sang songs. One of the songs was Heart of Worship. Some students talked about how trials can help bring people closer to God. Lately I haven't been focusing my priorities on God. Tonight made me realize how fragile life really is. I could be gone tomorrow, or in 80 years.

When the music fades 

And all is stripped away 

And I simply come 

Longing just to bring 

Something that's of worth 

That will bless your heart 

I'll bring You more than a song 

For a song in itself 

Is not what You have required 

You search much deeper within 

Through the ways things appear 

You're looking into my heart 

I'm coming back to the heart of worship 

And it's all about You 

All about You, Jesus 

I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it 

When it's all about You 

It's all about You Jesus 

King of endless worth 

No one could express 

How much You deserve 

Though I'm weak and poor 

All I have is Yours 

Every single breath 

I'll bring You more than just a song 

For a song in itself 

Is not what You have required 

You search much deeper within 

Through the way things appear 

You're looking into my heart 

I'm coming back to the heart of worship 

And it's all about You 

All about You, Jesus 

I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it 

When it's all about You 

It's all about You Jesus 

Its all about you 

Jesus 

Please pray for everyone involved, but especially for Nick Schlegel, Derek Radesky, their families. Pray for peace. Pray for understanding. Pray for love.

Chicago

I went into Chicago in the beginning of November with three of my friends--I saw and heard a lot of interesting things. We were asking people if they thought God was real. The answers were always fascinating, especially one guy that was stranded in Chicago with no way to make money to get back home in Vegas. But for me, the most memorable moment happened very quickly. I saw a man digging through the garbage. I didn't really think much of it, but continued to watch as we walked by [people fascinate me] Right before I looked away, he pulled out a drink from a place like Sbarro. And he started drinking from it. I was so incredibly shocked. But it made me realize how incredibly blessed I am. There I was, walking around with an awesome camera and with friends from a school that I am blessed to be able to go to.

Yet, I complain.

Incessantly.

About the cafeteria food
About having "nothing" to wear
About too much homework

About having too much stuff

About not having enough time
About nothing
About everything

I am blessed and I tend to forget that.

Have you seen my aspirations?

I used to have so many goals for my life. Plans, aspirations. But lately, I have just become so very melancholy almost. Lack luster, boring, feeling "ehhh." I tend to blame this on school. Sounds like a good excuse right. The academic institution is sucking away my soul. Right, RIGHT? If I'm truthful with myself (which I really need to do more) I need to face the music that it's me. I've let myself get to this place. I've let myself just go through the motions. I am finally comfortable at Judson, and really know who I am (do you truly ever know who you are?). Is it good to be comfortable? When I get comfortable, that means changing out of my pretty clothes and into sloppy sweatpants. And in general, I just don't care how I look. When I first came to Judson, I took tons of pictures, always had my camera with me. In some ways, I think I was more outgoing back then. What happened? No idea.

I used to write short stories all the time when I was in high school. Since college, I've really just put those thoughts out of my mind. "I am a general art major, why should I write?" Guess what Megan, other things can inspire you. You don't have to do solely artsy things. (personally though, i think writing is a pretty artsy thing to do)

Well enough talk about all these things I used to do. It is time to do fun things again. I've made lists of things I want to do with my life before, but I think it's something interesting to look back on.

• continue to wear hats
• travel to [and across] Europe
• elaborate my short stories, maybe write a novel
• crochet instead of waste time on the internet
• cry more
• fall in love
• give grace to people that aggravate me
• learn to swim
• sketch, even if the drawings are terrible
• take pictures, all the time
• talk to people [be a social human being]
• expand my vocabulary
• teach myself French

Fake Voices

In a future generation
Monophonic crowds emerge
With their metal throats
On organic flesh
Trading Originals for epigones
Real singers have become extinct

Fake voices
Fill the avenues
With Decepticon diction
Its a failed quest for perfection
Once the talent pool evaporates
Real singers have become extinct

This is a song by one of my friends, Curtis Bell. I especially love the line "It's a failed quest for perfection." Because really, isn't every quest for perfection doomed to fail? We can't be perfect. I wish more people would be broken and beautiful. Let the cracks show. God can use the worst moments of our lives for His glory. When we are weak, He is strong. Let's be honest, people. Let's be transparent--so transparent that people only see God's love through us instead of judgement and hypocrisy. Let people see your mistakes. Guess what? We've all made them.

Girls can be stupid

This is the very truthful wisdom I got from the book,  How to be a Hepburn Girl in a Hilton World. I first came across this fabulous book through Christa-Taylor's blog. Which, by the way is a fabulous blog, and you should definitely read it on a consistent basis. Well I was quite excited when this fabulous book came in the mail, free, courtesy of SwagBucks [insert shameless self-promotion for SwagBucks referrals here]. Books. Books?! What are those? You mean those 500 paged boring things with thick covers? Wait. You mean there are interesting books?! Wow. I thought they had become extinct since I began my four year (okay, okay, five) college stint. Well I was relieved of this knowledge that good books, do indeed live on, despite my obliviousness (is that a word?).  

I got off topic didn't I? The hazard of my very existence. I am positive I have ADD (probably adhd). Okay, FOCUS. 

I loved this book. It might be a bit of a slap in the face to some, but we need more of that. Girls CAN be stupid. Sometimes I just wish I could be friends with guys, there seems to be a lot less drama. Maybe they just don't talk about it. 


It has become commonplace for girls to be able to literally show every part of the body. When that person isn't us, we tend to gossip and go on about how short their skirt was, etc. But until we do something about it (dress classy ourselves) we really aren't doing anything worthwhile, are we? When you look at pictures sixty years ago, women dressed with class, beauty and dignity. Women Girls don't do that anymore. They wear miniskirts and tops that reveal more than some swimsuits. (which is a whole other topic-don't get me started. I am having enough trouble focusing) When you wear a dress that actually fits, people take notice. I remember this summer Mom and I were in town, and people would kept staring at us. I could practically hear their stares. When you dress with dignity, people notice. Yes, it might be uncomfortable, and yes, people might stare. (but I bet they are wishing they looked as put together as you) Do you really feel insulted when someone says you look like Audrey Hepburn or Grace Kelly? And for the guys, if any read this blog, would you take offense at being labeled a Cary Grant?


I highly recommend reading this book, it is very short, but full of insight.

Mystery

Whatever happened to mystery? I forgot how much girls throw themselves at guys. Maybe I do it too, but honestly I just want more guy friends (less drama). I was walking with a couple girls today when one burst out "I call dibs!" i was rather confused when the other girl made her confusion known. "The guy, obviously."

What happened to mystery? What happened to letting the guy go after the girl instead of the other way around? Are quiet girls doomed to be spinsters? I don't think so. Let real men be men. Gentlemen. I don't want a guy that is letting women take control of every situation, he should be decisive and a man truly after God's own heart.

[disclaimer: this post might seem like I am looking for Prince Charming, but I'm just venting]

Creativity

Imagination. Creativity. School. Work. These are not words commonly associated together. Why is that? As kids, most everyone is overflowing with creativity. Somehow, that gets lost. Somewhere someone tells us that we failed. Either that the sky actually isn't purple, or that stripes and polka dots just don't go together. We start to listen to what others have to say, and genuinely care and want their opinion. Without it, we don't know how to dress, how to talk, how to draw. Is creativity a lost art? It can be applied to so many facets of daily life such as solving everyday problems. How can I get my brothers to stop fighting?

Whenever I see a product that is made different than normal, I stop to really investigate it. How did they come up with that design? Was there a problem with the original product? A store that I love to visit is Creative Kitchen. They have all sorts of kitchen appliances, whisks, and other things to make delicious food. For example, this thing-a-ma-jig chops up hamburger much easier than just using a wooden spoon. Creativity isn't just for artists and writers, it is for everyday use.

Last year I took a class at Judson, with Professor Wilson (dir. Finger of God, Furious Love). It is by far, my favorite class I have ever taken. I actually looked forward to class. Why is it that most classes are so boring to sit through, and seemingly unbearable? Why is it that Old Testament class is one of the most boring classes? It should be abundant with questions, fascinating stories and students eager to listen.

There is no doubt that creativity is the most important human resource of all. Without creativity, there would be no progress, and we would be forever repeating the same patterns.        — Edward de Bono

One of the first things, that Prof. Wilson talked about in Exploring Creativity, was that our God is a creative God. When you open the Bible, what are the first words? "In the beginning, God created..." God created. In order to create, you have to be creative. There had never been a human before, and then he whipped up Adam, out of DUST. Dust? You know that stuff on the side of the road? God made the human race out of that pile of dust. Wow. That's pretty creative. I never would have thought of that.

The key question isn’t “What fosters creativity?” But it is why in God’s name isn’t everyone creative? Where was the human potential lost? How was it crippled? I think therefore a good question might be not why do people create? But why do people not create or innovate? We have got to abandon that sense of amazement in the face of creativity, as if it were a miracle if anybody created anything.   — Abraham Maslow

 If you are interested in some good reading on creativity I would recommend Cracking Creativity, and for ways to be inspired and pushed, The Creativity Book. Both of them were my textbooks from my class, but I kept them both.

Wow.

I just don't even know what to say. God is amazing. [End of post.] Nah, I am way too excited to just say that.

My wonderful friend, Joy Goodrich is visiting campus for the weekend. (I wish I had less homework this weekend!) Anyway, she organized a prayer meeting and invited a ton of people. There were about eight of us there in the prayer room in the basement of the chapel. We started at 9:30. It lasted until midnight. First we were praying for revival on the campus, then we prayed for Chara's ankle (which she said felt better by the time we left). Then came the best part. Joanie suggested going around the room and praying for each person. Before I keep going, I just thought I'd let you know how crazy-awesome last night was.

Almost everyone was praying in the spirit. As in, not really knowing what they were saying, and just letting the Spirit talk through them.

Now I grew up Methodist, where we stood for the hymns and sat for everything else. It is the same every week. That's fine, but our God is the God of everything! He is not something that can be put into a box. We should be shouting and proclaiming His name. It took me awhile to get used to all that was going on, and truth be told, I wasn't completely sure of everything. But since when are we supposed to be comfortable?? When we are comfortable, we just sit back and let things happen.

Back to story.

The person being prayed for would sit in the middle and the rest of us would lay hands on that person. There were people who would see things. These visions, I guess, would vary and alot of the time we would have no clue what they mean. The one I saw was a girl in white in a huge cathedral. She was walking down the aisle on a red carpet, she had a long way to walk. But a king was sitting on his throne and waiting for her. He had the biggest and most beautiful smile I had ever seen. You didn't even have to look at Him to know He was smiling, you just knew. She needed to run. And later, Joanie said that she saw the same cathedral. That the red carpet represented God's blood and her white dress her purity in Christ.

There would also be words that God would put on our hearts. Usually they didn't make sense. One was french fry. We would try to push aside, thinking that didn't make sense, so it can't be from God! Since when does God make sense to humans?

I had never even heard of falling out of the spirit (I think that's the right phrase--correct me if I am wrong), but that happened too. Joy fell out when we were praying for revival. I actually fell out too, when I was in the middle. It was just me letting go of everything and letting Him take control.

When I first God in the middle, Joanie hugged me and didn't let go for a long time. And I just started sobbing. It was God hugging me. For a long time, all I could do was cry. People were talking about how I was restored. One saw a chalkboard and that everything is wiped clean. Everything. I was also wearing a dress, completely white--my purity. Ben Shenkin talked about how he saw my smile, my real smile. He said he hadn't seen it in a long time.

Then there was Luis. He is really quiet, so when he talked, we all got really quiet. But he would say things he couldn't possibly know. During prayer, it dawned on me how absolutely amazing it would be to kiss God's face. I mean, wow. But when I sat in the middle, Luis read from Song of Songs 1:2-4

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine. Because of the savour of thy good ointments thy name is as ointment poured forth, therefore do the virgins love thee. Draw me, we will run after thee: the king hath brought me into his chambers: we will be glad and rejoice in thee, we will remember thy love more than wine: the upright love thee.

All of this in less than three hours!

Ya'll might think I am absolutely crazy now for typing this. And you would be right. I am crazy.

Crazy for God.

If we are out of our mind, it is for the sake of God;

if we are in our right mind, it is for you.

2 Corinthians 5:13

Pride

I think the one thing that turns me off of people (meaning anyone, not just the opposite sex) is pride. Hearing someone go on and on about how much they know or how wonderful they think they are is so annoying. Makes me wonder though as I am typing this, do I do the same thing?? We all chime in our own little stories about our life at the dinner table. Are we trying to help the story along? Or is there some strange reason we have to share our successes with everyone? The Creator of the Universe knows all of our accomplishments. Shouldn't that be enough? Apparently not.

We are supposed to be clothed in humility. If that is so, then how much are you wearing? Although, I know at times I have been guilty of wearing next to nothing!

After Easter, it is hard not to be humbled by the Cross and God's love for us. Yet, it seems like it is quickly lost. His love for us is quickly taken for granted once Monday rolls around. We are NOTHING without Him.

From the outset of the day, I want to greet my Savior with gratitude, not grumbling. ::CJ Mahaney::

Hebrews 12

Verses 1-3:

"...let us throw off everything that hinders

and the sin that so easily entangles,

and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith,

who for the joy set before him endured the cross,

scorning its shame and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men,

that you will not grow weary and lose heart."

It is so easy to get fixed upon all the distractions that our world, and even our technology, offers. But if it is taking us away from focusing on God, we need to seriously reconsider our use of it, or putting a cap on it. Jesus suffered so much, and so many of us (myself included) don't even give so much as a second thought some days. He was not deserving of such as death, or any death at all. But he died on the cross, so none of us would have to--so that we can have hope on dreary days when nothing seems to go right.

And then it goes on to talk about how only a loving and true father disciplines his son,

that if he doesn't discipline, the child isn't really his. The end of verse 10b says,

"God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness."

Verse 11-13,

"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful.

Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness

and peace for those who have been trained by it.

Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees.

Make level paths for your feet, so that the lame may not be disabled,

but rather healed."

As much as I hated being disciplined as a kid, I am so glad my parents did. Who likes a spoiled brat for a friend? I remember that look that mom and dad would get. Just that look from one of them, and my heart sank. I knew I was in trouble and there was no way out. My excuses wouldn't get anything but more trouble. Disappointment. I hated seeing that in their face. It wasn't a condemnation, just disappointment--at least for the moment. How much more grief should I have when I disappoint the God of the Universe who rescued me from the deep miry pit of my own sins?! He brings me up out of that pit and sets me on sturdy ground. It is time to stand up, tall and proud for what He has done for me. I might need discipline, but it is what I deserve. I will hate it when I get that discipline, but it is good in the long run. Thank you God, for the pain that transforms to peace.

Verses 14-16:

"Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy;

without holiness no one will see the Lord.

See to it that no one misses the grace of God

and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

See that no one is sexually immoral, or is godless like Esau,

who for a singe meal sold his inheritance rights as the oldest son."

Verses 28-29:

"Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken,

let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably

with reverence and awe, for our 'God is a consuming fire.'"

I am loving the book of Hebrews! It always amazes me at how things seem to pop off the page and seem like they were meant JUST for me. Even if I had read them before. God is so amazing. I am so privileged to get the opportunity to serve and praise Him.

Hebrews 10:17, 22-24

Then he adds: "Their sins and lawless acts shall be remembered no more." 

And where these have been forgiven, there is no longer any sacrifice for sin...

Let us draw near to God with a sincere heart in full assurance of faith, 

having our hearts sprinkled 

to cleanse us 

from a guilty conscience

and having our bodies washed 

with pure water. 

Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, 

for he who promised is faithful. 

And let us consider how we may spur one another

 toward love and good deeds.

What a beautiful visual!! Our hearts, full of all of our sins and errors and sprinkled clean and our very bodies are washed pure with water. We are pure through Christ. Isn't that such a beautiful thing?!

All of our sins are washed away in that beautiful water that Christ pours onto us.