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Monday, December 05, 2011

Be.

I wonder what it's like to be God. One minute I'm running around like a beheaded chicken, the next I'm amazed at what He provides.

I was going through my budget because now I'm a big girl with a real job and real debt. As a desperate act, I decided to cut out Netflix before my next billing cycle. I love Netflix. Even though they decided to raise prices by 60% and I am a terribly cheap person, I still remained a faithful subscriber. Alas, the Bank of North Dakota does not understand my needs. 

There I was, staring angrily at my budget. Why did I go to such a ridiculously expensive university? Why am I not a billionaire? Or at least someone who can afford groceries without donating plasma?

I opened up my email and voila! I had a housekeeping job. 

I am glad that I went to such a ridiculously expensive university. I cherish so many of those friendships even though they now live about 13 hours away from me. I am not a billionaire because then I wouldn't be the weird cheapskate that I am. And I love donating plasma.

Something I've been trying to learn (for seemingly my whole life) is to be still and know that He is God.

Be still and know that I am God.
Be still and know.
Be still.
Be.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Memories

Memories have a way of suddenly overwhelming you. One minute you are drying a spatula, the next, you're trampled by all of these events that you were hoping you had repressed. Nope, no chance of that happening. I want to blame it on something. But even as I write this I can't think of one single thing to blame it on, other than dishes being boring. I'm not going to delve into the details, because, well frankly, that's not my style. I like to keep my life semi-private. Despite my incessant and narcissistic postings on social media. I shall forever be an introvert. (For a great article on myths of introverts click here.)

I think God wants me to really deal with all of my emotions. I tend to try to just set it aside. Bottle it up. I thought I was done with that. Eesh. I had several months of therapy after I broke off my engagement and while that did help, I still have my issues. Like guilt. My good friend Joy asked me on the train back in September how I am dealing with it. I kind of shrugged off the question. 

I'm working on giving things up to God. (It seems like I say this every three months.) It's a work in progress. He needs to work in me. And for that to happen, I need to spend a lot more time with Him than I usually do.


This might not make sense to anyone. If so, I apologize - hopefully I can pull together my thoughts for a real post.

Saturday, October 08, 2011

Employed!

I'm a freelance writer for The Examiner.
I submitted my first article today. Click here to see it. Since I get paid by my audience number, I'd appreciate as much traffic as possible. I'm just a poor 20-something trying to pay off school loans.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Bemidji

Mom and I went to Bemidji, MN at the beginning of August. I finally edited and tagged all the pictures.  This is what happens when you are sick and don't feel up to simple things like standing, much less cleaning or cooking.

At Villa Calma, our amazing bed and breakfast. 


We were able to stop along the way and take pictures. 



 Headwaters at the Mississippi River! Crazy how a huge river starts out so small.




Crocheted tree.


Saturday, September 24, 2011

Exciting, terrifying.

So I'm at a very exciting and terriying time in my life currently.


I recently was offered a job position as a nanny in Jackson, Mississippi. I was ecstatic! Turns out that wasn't God's plan for me. The family was one of the sweetest I have ever met. I loved them and their church; I am so glad to have had the opportunity to gain some more dear friends. But it left me with more questions than answers after I got back home. After I did, I finally caught up on my sleep and slept for 13 hours straight. I think it's safe to say that I hadn't completely recovered from my jet-lag.


I haven't had time since I returned from England to go through pictures. Now that I have some free time, I'm hoping to blog more and take/edit pictures on a more frequent basis. Also, since I'm poor, I added advertisements to the side of my blog. Please click on them and make me rich ;)


Anyway, exciting. Absolutely anything can happen right now. I could be headed to Africa for an adventure. I could discover Prince Charming on my back steps. I could be offered a photo job. But I'll just keep busy and wait to see what God decides to do.


Terrifying. The vast amount of school loans are looming. I have some money saved up and I'm cleaning several houses locally. Not exactly the makings of a debt-free life. Will I mooch off my parents until the economy improves? I hope not. Time to write the next great American novel.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

The Help

You is kind. You is smart. You is important.

Yesterday I went to the theatre with my mom to see The Help. There was a bit of language in the beginning. Nothing too severe, but probably not something you want to bring your kids to see. 

I didn't really know much about The Help. I hadn't even seen a trailer for it. My mom really wanted to go and I thought, what the heck, why not? After all, it takes place in the 60s. If it bombs, at least I get to look at pretty dresses for two hours. Wow, I was wrong. It is one of the most powerful movies I have ever seen. It had me laughing and crying almost simultaneously. 

It brought to light some shocking things which I had never realized (the 'help' not being allowed to use the same toilet as the whites because they had "different diseases.")

Not only is this film phenomenal because of it's story, but most of the characters had so much growth. When I was first introduced to what I thought was going to be a flighty, ditzy character, I was annoyed. However, I found her character to be very entertaining. She grew. The ditz isn't often given a chance in movies. 

Get off your butt right now and go to a theatre.  And invite me!
Stop reading, get out of here. Run, don't walk. 

And ask about the origin of your pie.

Tuesday, August 02, 2011

Pauley Summer get-together!

We had family over this weekend! It was so fun having everyone here. This time I didn't take as many pictures, and just decided on talking more with people. I took just over 100 pictures, which is hardly anything for me :)





Dawson is such a cutie!




Dudley captured Andrew's heart.



Cherry picking!





Thursday, July 28, 2011

Bucket List



Got the idea from Through the Waters of Life to post my bucket list here. Maybe it will prompt me to get more done! :) Bear with me, it's a fairly extensive list.


Personal Fitness
·      Run a marathon (it'll have to be short unless I somehow gain an ironman body overnight)
·      Hike in the mountains
·      Do an indoor rock-climb wall
·      Bungee jump
·      Learn to swim
·      Learn to surf (I got up twice in Hawaii, but would like to get better at it)
·      Do P90X
·      Lose 25 pounds

Hobbies
·      Learn Cricket
·      Complete a crossword puzzle
·      Learn to quilt
·      Solve a Rubik’s Cube
·      Learn to play bridge (I watch too many old tv series)
·      Go fishing at sunrise
·      Listen to Bach and Mozart
·      Own a horse
·      Milk a cow (despite living in the country, I have never milked a cow)
·      Win Super Mario Bros on Nintendo (I am absolutely HORRID at video games)
·      Start a fire without matches
·      Hold a snake (the sheer thought of this scares me silly!)
·      Finish crocheted green blanket (more than half way done with it as a queen sized)

Home
·      Grow an herb garden (I would LOVE to be able to cook with my own spices)
·      Buy a home, with a window seat
·      Host 10 dinner parties
·      Have a plant, and not kill it
·      Watch no TV for one week
·      Own a piano
·      Pay off all school loans.
·      Splurge on a pair of shoes (DONE! -- TOMS)
·      Have a secret room behind a bookcase (I don't think I'll tell if this happens)

Charity
·      Volunteer at a soup kitchen
·      Help to end slavery
·      Spend a day talking with an orphan
·      Spend a day talking with a homeless man/woman/child
·      Own 5 pairs of TOMS
·      Mission trip/expedition (kaya) every year


Language
·      Learn French fluently
·      Learn an accent well (British or Irish preferably)
·      Learn HTML coding
·      Learn basic sign language
·      Expand vocabulary

Writing
·      Write a book
·      Learn calligraphy
·      Practice handwriting
·      Write a paper, just because
·      Write a sitcom
·      Write your autobiography
·      Compile a cookbook
·      Use typewriter frequently for writing letters

Food
·      Eat a jalapeno pepper, whole
·      Anchovies
·      Escargot, Lucy style
·      Make homemade ice cream
·      Put up root beer
·      Avoid fast food for six months
·      Cook every dish from the ’69 Betty Crocker cookbook
·      Eat Haggis
·      Learn to make Julia Child's Beef Bourguignon

Phrases To Say
·      Sit on it!
·      Quick, follow that car!
·      I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship
·      Go ahead, make my day
·      A martini. Shaken, not stirred.

Read
·      The works of  e.e. cummings,
·      The works of Thoreau
·      The works of Emerson
·      Bible, cover to cover
·      Entire Encyclopedia Britanica
·      100 NY Best Sellers (2/100)

Films
·      Watch all of the AFI’s greatest films
·      Watch every single Hitchcock film
·      Be an extra in a film
·      Become a still photographer for a movie set
·      Watch every Academy Award for Best Picture

Photograph/Travel/Adventure
·      Eiffel Tower
·      England
·      Ukraine, Hungary (E. Europe)
·      Greece
·      Corrie ten Boom’s home
·      Holy Land
·      Italy
·      Ireland
·      Peru (Machu Picchu)
·      Maine lighthouses
·      Prince Edward Island
·      DC in the spring
·      Oregon (Multnomah Falls)
·      Sundance
·      Gondolas in Venice
·      Big Ben
·      Abbey Road
·      Chase a storm
·      Fly in a hot air balloon
·      Take the Amtrak from Seattle to the East Coast
·      Learn the ins and outs of Photoshop
·      Re-learn geography
·      Change a flat tire
·      Drive stick shift
·      Visit all countries of heritage [Denmark, Germany, France, Switzerland, Scotland, Russia]
·      Live in Europe for a month
·      Start photography business
·      Visit Holocaust camps, after re-reading The Hiding Place
·      Fly first-class overseas
·      Photograph for National Geographic
·      Visit all 50 states (21/50)
·      Drive down route 66
·      Go behind a waterfall
·      Attend the Olympics
·      Watch the sun rise every day for one week
·      Photograph war
·      Photograph a wedding
·      Visit a castle
·      Explore a cave
·      Impromptu road trip (Denver, Devils Mountain)
·      Human Trafficking Photography Expedition via Kaya travel

Thursday, June 09, 2011

snowflakes are weapons


This might look like an ordinary, even innocent, teapot. But those little white decals masquerading as a snowflake are pure evil. I have the battle wounds to prove it. Okay fine, I spent a good five minutes trying to decide which finger it was after the attack was over.


Moral of the story: don't trust teapots with snowflakes. 
They try too hard to look innocent.

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

I'm home!

Only problem is that means all of my stuff is in one place for the first time in four years.



The first night I was surrounded by all of my stuff. I felt like I was sleeping on an island of commercial products. I cleaned all day yesterday, and thankfully I can now see the floor!

Wednesday, June 01, 2011

Free books!

My aunt and uncle get the old books after the library has a sale. They let me look through them and pick what I wanted. I am beginning to understand why my mom has so many books. How could one resist such an offer?



Hard-cover books!


Grammar books

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

The Unemployed Gypsy

As you may have noticed, I have a lack of excitement in my life lately. I'm still trying to remain patient. I changed the background on this blog and re-did the header, but that didn't take long. So, in an attempt to keep myself from boredom, I created a new youtube channel.


Monday, May 02, 2011

Patience is not an easy virtue

I graduated college.

Did I forget to tell you? Oops.


Right now am waiting to hear on a job. I really hope I get it. I would be able to stay in the area, and I would be able to keep doing photography (and actually get paid for it!). While trying to have patience waiting for a phone call, I am relaxing. Right now I am focusing on getting back on a normal sleep schedule (I became nocturnal the last week of school) and taking pictures for the fun of it. I have a couple projects in mind, but first I want to just get back in the habit of taking pictures on a regular basis again.

Alas, patience is not something that comes easily to me. I am off to distract my impatience with some brilliance by Hitchcock, courtesy of Netflix.
Maybe I'll even watch his version of Easy Virtue.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

...

Hollins U.
Roanoke, Virginia. 
Screenwriting and Film Studies.

I might want to do grad school after all. 

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Hurting and jealous

It hurts to know that I will never see you again here on Earth.
It hurts to know I wasn't there to say goodbye.
It just hurts.

I'll miss you Linda.
I will miss your fellow love of chocolate.
I will miss your kindness and love.
I'll miss your laughter.
I'll miss your stories.
I'll miss camping with you.

I thought you could pull through.
I've seen miracles before.
I don't understand why God didn't heal your cancer.

I just know that you aren't hurting anymore.
I can hardly wait to see you.
In the meantime, I'll just be jealous of all the time God gets to spend with you.

Monday, March 14, 2011

silence

During prayer today I realized how many horrible things are happening in the lives of my friends. I see so many people every day, but I rarely know what burdens they are carrying with them.

The death of a grandpa.
A grandma going into kidney failure.
Coming back from a missions trip and not quite sure how to deal with this new information.

What's going on with this world? Has it become more insane lately, or have I just opened up my eyes? Cancer, genocide, modern-day slavery, child soldiers, earthquakes and tsunamis. I was so overwhelmed  tonight that after chapel drama, I decided to go to the prayer room. And I couldn't even pray I had no words. So I sat there in silence. I can't help these people. How can I? I'm only a girl with a smile, and sometimes a half-hearted one at that. What can I do?

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

hair decides work level


Once I put my hair up, and decide to work at my desk instead of reading in my bed, you know that I mean business. It's time to do some serious homework.

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

awkward


defines my life. I just can’t help it, just seems to radiate off of me. And when I try not to be awkward, it just makes it worse. Have you ever witnessed an awkward nerd try to not be themselves? It’s not a pretty sight.


Disclaimer: I love being awkward. Also, doesn't the word awkward even look awkward?! It never had a chance. 



I have come to the conclusion that I am forevermore doomed to be awkward. Care to know why? I like awkward boys. Michael Cera? Jesse Eisenberg? I thoroughly enjoy their interviews solely for the reason with how awkward they are. Maybe one day I’ll get lucky and get a cross between Cary Grant and Urkel.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

sick


bronchitis + fever + chills + deep coughing + searing pain in throat  = ouch

Thursday, January 27, 2011

What I Learned In School

Well, today at least.

Creativity is required to have self-confidence in your work. Without it, you probably just won't make anything. And if you do, it won't be something you are incredibly proud of. However, once you have creativity you will actually WANT to do work. When you have that grand idea, all you want to do is just that and not be bothered by other little things...like eating or sleeping. Hey, if the idea is great enough, I might even skip a meal [food is a great passion of mind]. But once that creativity is flowing and you create work you are proud of, you want to make more. And of course your confidence is boosted.

Creativity à Self-confidence.

Took me 4 1/2 years of college but I finally found the key.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Pride

I have been so incredibly prideful.

I haven't read the Bible consistently in, well I'm going to be blatantly honest....I haven't read it on a consistent basis for about a year. Horrible, right? How could I put God on a shelf? What right do I have to do that? NONE. Yet, all this time I have considered myself a pretty humble person. I read a book on humility once. That should be enough, right? Oy, the longer I live the more I realize I have to learn and re-learn.

Will I ever figure out life?

Wednesday, January 05, 2011

How I Brought Bread Into Existence



I learned how to make bread today! I was about to make my amazing carmel rolls, had the yeast done [i still don't always get it to rise properly] and had the milk scalded. Then, the unfortunate happened. There were no eggs in the fridge! I had checked all the ingredients aside from the obvious things a kitchen should have before I started, because well...let's face it, there isn't a grocery store for at least 30 miles. I frantically searched for two eggs. I dashed to the fridge downstairs with hopes high. No eggs. I called neighbors looking for donors. [really i just dialed my aunt but she wasn't home sadly] I resumed my quest for eggs. Oh, how I wish we still had chickens!! I even looked in the freezer. By this time, I was mad with cooking fury.

Then I gave up. Took the pot off the burner. Went back to boring dishes. "My day is just RUINED," I thought. What a terrible way to start the day! But then Betty Crocker started whispering ideas to me. I looked up bread recipes. I had never made bread before. Rolls, sure, but BREAD?! How intimidating. All I could think of was Grandma's Bread and never being able to measure up to that standard. But I was desperate. What could I lose? I already had the yeast done, and the milk scalded. Might as well put it to good use.

And VOILA!

Two loaves were born.




I promise it was two, but I didn't take pictures until after the boys got back from school and basketball practice. I'll let you in on a little secret. Teenage boys like to eat. A lot.