North Dakota funnies

I needed a laugh today :-(not the greatest grade on a paper)....

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Be of good cheer!

~

John 16:33

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, ..... you might live in North Dakota.

If you're proud that your state makes the national news 96 nights each year because Grand Forks is the coldest spot in the nation, ..... you might live in North Dakota.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, .....you might live in North Dakota.

If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, ..... you might live in North Dakota.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, ..... you might live in North Dakota.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, ..... you might live in North Dakota.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, .....you might live in North Dakota.

If you know how to say Bottineau, Burleigh, Monango and Wyndmere, ..... you might live in North Dakota.

If you think that ketchup is a little too spicy, ..... you might live in North Dakota.

If you can't enjoy your patio during the summer for fear that the mosquitoes will carry you away, .....you might live in North Dakota.

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You know you're in North Dakota when:

you wave to someone on the freeway because you recognize the truck.

you can talk about a combine, and people don't wonder what you're putting together.

the car in front of you is weaving, it's more likely to be an old farmer than a drunk.

you define summer as three bad months of sledding.

you have no problem spelling Wahpeton.

people borrow things to you.

you drive to town during a blizzard just to see if the weatherman knew what he was talking about.

You know four seasons, winter, still winter, not winter, and almost winter.

You lie awake at night trying to think of uses for leafy spurge.

You assume everybody has seen the Northern lights and sundogs.

You understand "Yah, You betcha" means either 'I agree', or 'you're full of it', and you can tell the difference.

You can leave your keys in the car, and it's still there when you get back.